Blind date day
— the trick is not trying to impress
On a blind date, trying to make a good impression is what makes things most awkward. What you should prepare isn't a self-introduction but three things to ask the other person.
In this article 7 topics
What to prepare isn't a self-introduction
Before a blind date, most people prepare how to talk about themselves. But what actually sets the mood is whether the other person felt comfortable talking.
People remember fondly the occasions where they felt comfortable talking about themselves. So what you should bring is three questions.
What makes a good question — it can't be answered with yes or no, it's easy to answer, and you can build on it.
“What's the most fun thing you've been doing lately?” · “Did you always plan to go into your line of work?” · “How do you usually spend your weekends?”
On the other hand, avoid salary, marriage plans, past relationships and politics. Ask these at a first meeting and it turns into a job interview.
Place and timing are half the battle
- Avoid places that are too quiet. Every silence stands out. A café with a bit of background noise is easier.
- About an hour and a half is right for a first meeting. Too long and you run out of topics; it's better to end a little short and leave them wanting more.
- Have a second place in mind. If the mood is good you can move on naturally, and if not, you just don't use it.
- A weekend afternoon is a safe bet. On weekday evenings you're both worn out and not at your best.
When the conversation stalls
Stalling is normal. You've only just met, after all. The problem is that the moment you take a lull as failure, your expression stiffens.
- Acknowledge the silenceOne line like “I'm always a bit slow to warm up” eases the mood. The more you try to hide it, the more awkward it gets.
- Turn to what's in front of youThe menu, the music, the view outside. More natural than forcing a topic.
- Go back to something mentioned earlier“That thing you mentioned earlier —” It signals you were listening, so it works well.
Why not trying to impress is the trick
Trying to make a good impression comes across as nervousness. You talk faster, your laugh comes half a beat late, and you stop listening all the way to the end of what the other person says.
The goal of a first meeting is not to pass, but to find out — whether you want to see this person a second time. If you think of it not as being evaluated but as looking at each other together, it gets much easier.
Afterward — how to decide on a second date
It's normal not to reach a conclusion on the day. Here are some useful criteria for when that happens.
- Was the conversation comfortable? — this lasts longer than fun.
- Could I be myself? — if you had to keep putting on an act, it'll be the same next time.
- Is there still something I'm curious about? — if there's something left you want to ask, that's a good sign.
It's best to get in touch the same day. A short message asking if they got home safely is enough. The longer you write, the more pressure it puts on them; put it off for a few days and they'll probably have already moved on.
What changes if you know the day's tone?
Saju doesn't predict whether it'll go well. But knowing whether it's “a day when expressing yourself comes easily” or “a day when words tend to come out sharp” lets you adjust your approach that day.
If the tone is one where words flow easily, you can comfortably take the lead; if it's one where you might come across as sharp, try something like toning your jokes down a notch. That alone can change the impression of a first meeting quite a bit.
Add your blind date to Mutal Unnie and it shows the D-day and a one-line note on that day's rhythm; open Full Care (35 Bok) and you'll also get an evening-before briefing. Add the other person to “My People” to see a one-line note on how the two of you connect — but please be sure to get their consent before adding them.
Don't prepare for nervous days alone
Add your blind date: the D-day and that day's rhythm are free, and the evening-before briefing is unlocked with Full Care.
Get the app for iPhone & AndroidFAQ
What should I prepare before a blind date?
Preparing three questions to ask works better than preparing a self-introduction. People remember fondly the occasions where they felt comfortable talking about themselves. Avoid salary, marriage plans and past relationships on a first meeting.
How long should a blind date last?
About an hour and a half is about right. If it runs long you run out of topics, and leaving a little wanting more works in your favor for a next time. If you have a second place in mind, you can carry on naturally.
The conversation keeps stalling
When you've just met, it's normal for it to stall. The problem is the moment you take it as failure and your expression stiffens. What works: a line acknowledging the silence, turning to something in front of you, or going back to something mentioned earlier.
Can I check compatibility with my date's date of birth?
The other person's date of birth is personal information, so always get their consent before entering it. And compatibility is material for seeing where you're likely to get along and where you might clash — not a tool for deciding whether to see someone.